Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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