Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
