you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
