what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
did i just pee glitter
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
