Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize