Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
