I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
