he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
