so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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