I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
