the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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