id be glad to
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
