We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
