I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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