Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
