Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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