So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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