You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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