I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
