Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You need a sexual gate keeper
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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