YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize