but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
