took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
