Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
