The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
