Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I hate all girls vehemently.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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