It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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