you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She's the barista slut.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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