You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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