Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
