Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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