don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
