Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
