He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I will be naked everywhere
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
