wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
