How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
