Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
