Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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