your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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