Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
