In the future we'll all be gay
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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