i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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