Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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