Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
