I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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