You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
