he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
