Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
