Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
