She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
