Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
