Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
