I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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