there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
