Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
