mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I cut my penus on the lid.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So here I am, sexting at work.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
