Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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