On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
