You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
