so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
