He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
