i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize